The husband of a couple who were friends with my mother died. Neither of them believed in life after death. As I passed the front door of these neighbors, the deceased man appeared to me and urgently pressed me to tell his wife that he was still alive. Through me he desperately wanted to signal to her that he was there and that there is life after death.
There I stood in the stairwell wondering whether I should knock on this atheist woman’s door and tell her that her deceased husband wanted to communicate something important to her. After a few minutes, uncertain and somewhat reluctant, I decided to ring the bell.
The woman opened the door immediately, and I told her that I was the neighbor’s son. I then truthfully explained that I had mediumistic abilities and had just encountered her deceased husband, and asked whether she wanted to know what he wished to tell her. She immediately reacted dismissively with a firm “No!” She said she did not believe in such things and quickly shut the door in my face. So I could do nothing other than let death take its course. I did tell the man that he should detach himself from his earthly home and hold to Jesus Christ; then he would be guided onward and would soon reach the place of his first destination. I do not know whether he did so.
Unfortunately, with most people it is the case that they cannot accept a message from the beyond, and certainly not from just anyone, because their souls are completely immersed in matter. Certain hardships and sufferings are then often required so that the material shell may crack open or even break—which, viewed in human terms, is terrible, but from the divine perspective represents great grace and mercy.
* * *
While walking in the forest, my attention was drawn to a long, narrow, perfectly straight wooden stick lying lengthwise in the middle of the path before me and hardly standing out from the path even in color. Then came the thought: “This stick symbolizes the serpent—Satan, as he is acting at present.” I thought: “I don’t understand that. A snake is often motionless and well camouflaged, but it is always curved or coiled; stretched out perfectly straight—how am I supposed to interpret that?”
Then came the answer: “See, this way it forms no obstacle and cannot, or can hardly, be recognized. It waits until people have passed it and then attacks them from behind. This signifies: Satan has hypocritically adapted himself to the path of love, has placed himself in conformity with love, has assimilated himself to conscience. That means: he has slipped into the path of good will in order to use it for his own purposes. Thus he poisons people’s hearts from behind, as a result of which they regard the lie as good and the good as a lie.
In matter this is visible as vaccination and contamination through radiation and chemicals, which severely damage the body and subsequently the soul as well; on the purely soul level it is the poisoning of thought, that is, of individual consciousness as well as the consciousness of the masses and thus collective consciousness; on the spiritual level it is the reversal of people’s love into the satanic.
From behind means that a person harmed physically does not trace his illnesses back to the poisons deliberately administered to him, that he does not recognize his distorted thinking and behavior as such, and that in his delusion and blindness he does not notice that his love has been poisoned with falsehood.
* * *
Dear brothers and sisters, I once underwent a regression. Jesus had told me beforehand that hypnosis does not work on His children who are devoted to Him—and that is how it was. The therapist nearly despaired, and I felt sorry for him. While he strained to put me into a trance, I floated through space, past planets and stars—fully conscious.
Then I suddenly found myself in my mother’s body while she was giving birth to me. I did not want to leave the comfortable surroundings, so the birth lasted three days. (It was a secret home birth, because I had come from a clandestine relationship between my mother and a married man, and in the staunchly Catholic Bavarian Forest this was considered a disgrace.) Eventually the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and I was in danger of suffocating. At the same time there was a struggle in the spiritual world over whether I would be able to incarnate.
Then I saw my birth in this world from outside. It was a bleak, dark room full of screams and pain. Suddenly I became aware of the situation from the beyond. The room was bathed in bright light, angels were present, and Jesus stood there. It was beautiful.
I experienced all this not in a trance, but at Jesus’ bidding. In this whole event I became aware that a birth is holy… for every human being, no matter who he is or where he comes from. And I became aware that this sacred act is something unique and special for every person: a creation of the soul into matter, a miracle of God. Yes, earthly life is an act of divine mercy that enables us to become and to be true children of God for all eternity.
* * *
As I was in the process of awakening, I began to write poems. Their manifestation occurred because of my mediumistic ability, though at first I was not conscious of this. Eventually I noticed that the words announced themselves on their own—without my thinking. Later, when I read poems by well-known poets and entered into their souls, at times their spirit came over or into me and expressed itself in lyrical form. In this way works were created in the style and spirit of great masters. Yet the color and structure of my own soul always flowed into them as well, just as is also the case with the words of the Father that I am now permitted to give.
Because I knew the value of my work, I soon realized that this potential could ultimately make me famous; I would create extraordinary works and bring the decayed art of poetry back to life. But the Father had other plans. Publishers rejected the manuscripts; apart from a few self-published volumes, nothing was published. It nearly drove me mad, because I knew the value of my work and the deceased poets confirmed my view. Yet I longed so deeply for recognition and wanted to enjoy the status of a respected and valuable man of letters.
Today I see death and transience in such ambitious creative work and thank God that He has led me out of worldly art into divine service. Although I still enjoy reading good poems by the masters, I no longer write anything of that kind. Yet there is great fascination in a few creative words that say so much more than endless torrents of words.
Thus the images and parables of the Bible are also, at heart, poems with essential statements that contain so much more in their depths. And ultimately creation itself is a poem which, though it passes away in visible form, retains its essential spirit for eternity.
* * *
Dear brothers and sisters, I once received the following words from the Father. They were and still are a support to me in the temptations of my rampant addiction to pornography and sex. Since some of us, especially the men, are also engaged in this or a similar struggle, I am passing on these words, which, if followed, are a great help:
“My son, you have once again resolved to be and remain faithful to Me in the flesh. I bless this resolve of yours and help you in every temptation.
But moments and hours will come when your bodily desires assail you. You know these situations very well and know what awaits you. Your whole being will be filled with the desire to look at corresponding images and films in order to satisfy the body. In these bonds your soul is as though frozen, as though spellbound, seemingly helpless before the addiction. Your thoughts run wild; your consciousness is hurled back and forth between extremes. These are the moments in which you turn away from Me, and thereby your fall is already decided.
The temptations in your thoughts sometimes come insidiously, drawing you ever deeper into fantasies of bodily pleasure, in thrusts, advancing, intruding. Sometimes it feels like being electrified; then suddenly you are as though petrified inside sexual arousal, and it seems there is no way out, that the only possibility of release is to satisfy yourself in all kinds of ways so as to get rid of the tension, get rid of the arousal, and be able to breathe again.
But, as you now know, this is a trap into which you go again and again. For by doing so you not only remain spiritually at a standstill; in the long run you lose the life of spirit and grace that comes from Me. You see this yourself; you recognize that My presence is slipping away from you.
As your heavenly Father I tell you: if in your Gethsemane you look to Me and turn your heart toward Me, the stormy waves will quickly grow calm again and you will walk with Me in peace and composure. If you remain steadfast in faithfulness over the long term and do not give in, I will fill you completely with My Spirit. Even if at first there is a dry stretch, persevere and you will see that My word is truth and faithfulness.
So make an effort now. Show stoic composure in temptation, remain on the foundation of gentleness, let yourself fall into My heart, into My love—and all will be well.
Your Jesus.”
* * *
After a mountain hike to Birkenstein we visited the convent of the `Armen Schulschwestern´. As we walked the Stations of the Cross up the Calvary there, a strong pain of the soul came over me right at the beginning and I had to cry, so much that eventually I was sobbing aloud. I received the impulse and felt that this was the pain once felt by Mary and Johannes as Jesus walked the way of the cross. This immense pain of the heart lasted throughout the entire walk; I could no longer calm myself and had to cry more and more. When we reached the cross at the top, I nearly collapsed from anguish of soul and sat down with my wife on the bench beneath the cross, where I continued to cry for about another ten minutes. Only then did my soul become calm again and enter into unspeakable love for Jesus Christ. Thus the pain in my heart merged with the redeeming love of Jesus Christ. Mary and the apostles experienced this in the same way.
Thank You, Father, for showing me this pain. It is Your pain in the hearts of Your children; it is Your longing in the hearts of Your children; it is Your love in the hearts of Your children. It is You—yes, You are everything. For You are life, and life alone can feel such pain and such longing and love.
My Father, my Jesus, I am allowed to love You! Pain has led me to You; now it has become love in You. For the life of pain is the love of Your heart. In Your heart every pain becomes love.
* * *
When I stood at Jakob Lorber’s grave in Graz, he came and greeted me warmly. We embraced for a long time and with deep affection. I recognized that we are brothers in the heart of Jesus and was overwhelmed by the love that radiated from Jakob. It was a beautiful experience. Although his work of grace is incomparable and will remain a pillar of light in the house of worlds for eternity, while I am only a little light, in this being accepted I felt and still feel like a beloved brother in the Lord, and I was permitted to receive the brotherly kiss of the heart.
Thanks to my sinfulness I am always permitted to feel myself the least among the brothers and sisters, which keeps me in humility; otherwise pride, the feeling of being better, and arrogance would trouble me greatly. This support for humility that my sinfulness gives me passes, in accordance with my love for Jesus Christ, into true humility, while the imperfection of the child of God increasingly yields itself to the divine perfection that fills it. Thus sin, which gives humility, enters into the redeeming love of Jesus Christ.
Then the child of God recognizes that his sin, as apparent imperfection, carried perfection within it. He recognizes that perfection rests within every imperfection. With Jesus’ eyes he sees light in every darkness, sees love in all being and eternity in all passing away.
* * *
It was never my own will or desire to be an instrument of God. All I did was say to Jesus, in unspeakable pain of soul: “Take my life into Your hand, into Your heart; it belongs to You. I expect nothing. I only want to be allowed to love You and to belong to You completely.”
I did this without holding anything back for myself; I spoke these words sincerely and truthfully. Thus I let myself fall into God’s love and heart… and He caught me and took over the guidance of my earthly existence. From then on my life changed radically.
Now every day I stand before Jesus Christ and say: “Dear Father, everything good in me is You; every good work You have done and You do. Everything bad is me. So I stand before You, naked and without works. And so I ask You: graciously accept me, a sinner. I trust completely in Your love and mercy, that You will not let me be put to shame in my sin, but will let me enter Your fatherly heart, where I may find redemption forever. I want only You, my Jesus, You alone. Everything else is stale to me and without life.
O let me love You still more! Love that consumes me entirely, that unites me with You so that we become one life and one love. This alone I ask of You, my Jesus, my Father, O You my only love.”
Dear brothers and sisters, this is the secret of entering into the spirit of Jesus Christ: above all, wanting to be nothing in order to become and be everything in the love of Jesus Christ. To entrust oneself wholly and full of confidence to Him, while still actively walking at His hand through the heights and depths of life, and in this recognizing what the heavenly Father expects of one: is it to endure or to act, to go or to stand still? Humility gives the answer, for it is the gateway to the heart-light of God.
* * *
I said to Jesus: “I pray for these souls and those souls, but not all of them believe in You—and yet I have this need in my heart that all of them should be with You, that they should find redemption in Your heart, that one day they may live in Your heaven.”
He said: “Your need is My need. That is why I sent you to Earth, so that you may bring Me all those for whom I have prepared a place in My heart. Your heart sees this and tells you who belongs to Me and who is meant to belong to Me. Therefore pray for the hearts for which you long, for that longing is Mine in eternity. Bring them all to Me; there is room enough in My heart.
But know that you are not the only one I have sent out for such a task. You are a great family scattered over this Earth, and I, as your Father, have sent you as workers into My vineyard to gather what once went forth from Me; to bring back to Me what has gone astray in the darkness of this fallen world; to bring Me those who seek, those who long, and those who love.”
* * *